The "Perfect Boy" Does More Than Just Buy Flowers

Describe your perfect boy. Why do you love him so much? Think about it.

Did you do it? I know you didn't.

Seriously, think about it.

Okay, read on...

So often, people answer this with "he loves me so much", "he makes me laugh", "he makes me feel beautiful", "he puts up with me", etc. In each of these responses (and beyond) there is a word in common: ME. Though I agree that all of these things should be true in any relationship, should these be the first answers that come to mind?

The way I see it, when someone is in love, they should be in love with the other person, not just with the way that person makes them feel. When someone is in love with a person, they respect them, are inspired by them, are challenged by them, trust them, etc. However, when someone is in love with how this person makes them feel, they are more tempted to look for things that this person does (or doesn't do). Is he buying me flowers "just because"? He should be thinking of me constantly, right? Wrong. Isn't love a selfless thing, anyway? Love is an emotion that makes us want to do things for others; to put them before ourselves; to think of them first.

Maybe this emphasis came from movies or songs or hearing those wonderfully random stories from our friend's sister's cousin whose boyfriend sent her 2,000 roses and a Cupid to surprise her during work. Maybe women have been "trained" by society and social media to believe that men should be more like prince charming, bending over backwards to do things and get things for women (aka the damsels in distress). Last time I checked, it's 2014 and women are no longer in distress.

So, sure, flowers once in a while are nice, but is this really what it means to be in love? Love is about the person; not what the person buys or does or gets.