Change freaks me out. I've literally never been good at dealing with it. I joke that it goes back to when Mommy and Daddy sat me down in 5th grade to tell me that we were moving to New Jersey. I went bananas. Then when 8th grade softball was over, I thought the world was practically going to end. My next major catastrophe was probably the end of high school. Knowing that all of my best friends weren't going to be within a five minute drive, I cried like a baby the night before my best friend, Toni, went away to college. And, through it all, believe it or not, I SURVIVED. New Jersey is pretty cool. I still play softball. And I'm still best friends with the important ones from high school. So why do I always freak out?
The way I see it, years 22-25 (ish) of a person's life are just wacky. They are such a transition period, thus, such a huge change. Like I've mentioned, some very important people in my life have graduated college and I'm starting my fifth year. Next year, I may be going to some strange place only God knows where for Graduate School. And then after that, where am I going to get a job? I think about this nonsense far too much. For years, I've always felt like I was just born to be a Mom and to be grown up. And as much as I absolutely love college and loved high school and everything in my life, I just can't wait to be settled down and know where my life stands. I don't like all of this unknown for the next few years. It's weird.
But why do people just freak out about the "big" changes? In reality, change happens every day. We are always doing different things, meeting different people, going different places. It seems like "life" is constantly throwing these little changes at us- the ones we barely recognize, and then when something major happens, we don't know how to handle it.
I'm a big believer in the idea that "life" is a series of preparations for one thing or another.
When you're 6 years old, you get a pet fish. You learn responsibility. It dies. You learn how to say good-bye. You move on.
When you're 10 you can get a rabbit. Same thing. Grander scale. You move on.
A few years later, you get your first girlfriend or boyfriend. You learn trust. You break up. You learn how to say good-bye again. You move on.
You get cut from a team. A loved one dies. You move. You fight with your best friend. Your car breaks down. Etc. Etc. Etc. You move on.
For 22 years, I've been practicing how to deal with change, and it still doesn't sit well. However, I always come out on top on the other side. I always "get over it" and end up absolutely loving where I am, almost no matter where I am or who I'm with. So once again, why is change so hard for me when I'm always okay when it's over and done with?