Last Tuesday, my boyfriend and I decided to see American Sniper. The only knowledge I had about it was the 30-second preview I saw on TV a few days prior where Chris Kyle is on the phone with his pregnant wife when she tells him "it's a boy". Instantly, I wanted to see it, and the fact that Bradley Cooper starred in it was a plus.

(Note : If you haven't seen the movie and don't want me to spoil anything, skip reading the bold part.)

As I mentioned, all I knew about the movie was the short clip from the preview. I didn't read the book, I didn't do any research, and I hadn't talked to anyone about the movie. Therefore, I didn't know he died in the end, just as his life was looking up.

The credits started rolling as the completely packed theater sat silently, watching. I took one breath in and one breath out and continued doing this until it was time to get up and leave. A dull roar of chatter began as people conversed about the movie, but I stayed silent. I stayed silent until I got about seven feet down the aisle from where we were sitting, until I started quietly sniffling and hiding my cry. I was embarrassed - why was no one else crying? As we got closer and closer to his car, my dainty cry turned into more of a hysterical hyperventilation session. (My boyfriend told me that if this was our first date he would think I was a little wacko...)

I sat in his passenger seat as he held my hand and told me it was going to be okay, as any good boyfriend should. Still, I couldn't help it. I kept thinking about the movie and I kept crying. I cried because I felt so bad for Chris Kyle and his family.

Then, I started thinking. Sure, this movie was all about the "deadliest sniper", Chris, and the story of his life after returning from war. But what about the other hundreds and thousands of men and women who risk their lives? This movie was just about one, wonderful man, who had such an outstanding impact. What if the movie was from the perspective of the guy who just proposed to his girlfriend and then got his face blown up? Or from the perspective of Chris's brother, who was terrified to go to war? Whoever's perspective, whoever the movie was about, I would have been heartbroken to see the overwhelming struggle these people go through on a daily basis to serve our country.

So, thank you, to the men and women who help to fight and protect this country. You may not be featured in an award-winning movie, but you all deserve awards. You all do something I couldn't imagine enduring, not even for one second. You all have family and friends and loved ones at home and are living a life I will never be able to understand. You are all heroes. 

Thank you. 

Thank you for your courage and honor. 

Thank you for your bravery and strength. 

Thank you for your leadership and fearlessness, even when you may be absolutely terrified. 

Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do every day. 

January 20th isn’t too late to make a New Year’s Resolution, right? Right. (At least that’s what I’m convincing myself.)
I’m not entirely sure what happened to me in regards to this blog over the last several months. If it were a pet, it would have died. But here I am; I’m back. 

Anyway - hopefully anyone who made a resolution is still working at it. Me? I didn’t make any. My boyfriend kept asking me why I didn’t because a) I’m really cheesy and always make resolutions and b) even he did, so why the heck wasn’t I jumping on the bandwagon?

Well, here goes nothing. Last year, I listed a whole bunch of things I wanted to accomplish before 2014 ended, so this year I’ll make a list of things I want to do before 2015 is over. 

1. Finish my book called “The Truths About A First Year Teacher” and look for ways to get it published. 
   
   
2. Write in my blog more. Hence, sentences three and four. I'm shooting for about 50 posts for the year.
   
   
3. Move out. Of course I love my mom and dad, but this would be exciting!
   
   
4. Get accepted into a Master’s program and start taking classes.
   
   
5. Take more pictures with the camera I “stole” from Annie.
   
   
6. Celebrate the engagement of one of my friends. (I’m recycling this from last year’s post because it hasn’t happened yet.)
   
   
7. Help coach the high school softball team and work with their pitching staff. Go Braves! (Although the Hornets will always have a special place in my heart.)
   
   
8. Be elected “Teacher of the Year”.
   
   
9. Choose to wake up on a positive note every day.
   
   
10. (Possibly) get certified to become a group exercise instructor. (Big on the “possibly”...)
    
    
11. Actually do the DIY projects I pin on Pinterest. Well, at least ten of them.
    
    
12. Stop worrying about the future so much. And when I do, just breathe.

And there you have it. Happy New Year (even though were about a month into it)!

Today, my school had an in-service  and for about an hour, we listened to a motivational speaker.

He started with the questions "Who are you?" and "What do you want?" He told us a little about who he was and what he wanted out of life. Then we were instructed to find a partner sitting next to us and answer the same questions about ourselves.

Is it just me, or are these questions entirely too overwhelming and way more stressful than they are intended to be? I felt like I was sitting back at an interview where the first question is, "So Lisa, tell me a little about yourself..." Um, what, um, I really love bread and I don't know my left from right and I like country music. (Probably wouldn't get me hired.)

Every time I'm asked one of these types of questions, it feels like there's a "right" answer and a whole bunch of wrong ones. For example, if my answer includes my job, does that mean my relationships don't matter to me? Or if I just talk about my boyfriend and friends, does that mean I'm a floozie? 

"Who am I?" I have no clue yet. Am I supposed to know? Obviously, we know the basics about ourselves when we're 24 years-old, but who am I really? It seems like everyone else, all the other "real adults" in the room have it figured out except me. 

"What do you want?" Well, I want happiness and success, but one time about a decade I was told that wasn't a good answer. I was sitting in some sort of a teen leadership meeting and we got the same question. When I told the lady I wanted to be happy and successful, she shot it down because it wasn't "specific" enough. I needed to pinpoint exactly what it was I wanted to be happy about and what I needed to do to be successful.

My point through all of this babbling? Maybe it's okay that open-ended questions like this scare us. We are still "trying to figure ourselves out", whatever that means. So for now...

"Who Am I?" I am positive role model to my younger family members. I am an athlete. I am a teacher. A daughter. A friend, girlfriend, eternal optimist, and a country-music lover.

"What Do I Want?" I want to start a family one day. I want to be financial stable enough to send my children to college and I want a long and happy marriage.  

Who are you and what do you want?